By Collin, on June 1st, 2011

Top Five ways X-men: First class can be awesome

Friday afternoon I’ll be checking out First Class and the word on the street is that it is fucking amazing. I’m excited, but skeptical.

I’ve been quite critical of all the X-men movies in the past. There has been only one “good” movie and the was X-men 2. My brother, and most other fans of the comics and cartoons, claim that the second movie is “as perfect as an X-men movie can get”. Bullshit.

The reason everyone says the second one is perfect is because no one has really seen what a perfect X-men movie looks like. Spiderman 2 is a great movie, there is no doubting that, but I still think a great true “super hero” comic book movie is still to be seen. The Hellboy movies are really good and for some reason I don’t think Dark Knight counts as a comic book movie – it is a masterpiece crime drama from Christopher Nolan’s mind more than a super hero movie.

1. The movie needs to have logical battles, not just epic battles:

An image that always sticks in my head – because I got into X-men through the cartoon and then went backwards went into the comics – is this :

There isn’t much to say about this point beside that making the “X-men 3 has epic battles” excuse doesn’t apply. Most of those mutants were garbage and the characters weren’t established and the battle was totally unorganized. This was due to about a dozen different reasons that I’m not willing to go into here. But the battles must be organized, mutant powers must be addressed, and the “individual dramas”, Magneto vs. Xavier for example, must be logically organized. This isn’t Normandy in Saving Private Ryan, it is organized, logical battles between mutants and occasionally humans.

2.The powers need to be used correctly and for narrative interest:

An audience member should never be able to figure out a way a mutant can used her/his powers to get out of a situation and the characters cannot. Only excluding context such as the character is inexperience or injured.

X-men comics and the cartoon approaches this issue perfectly, but so many comic book movies fall down is there area. The best example I can think of (not in the comics, because it is too easy to just post a series clip) of their powers being used perfectly in a thoughtful, accruate way is :

Around 4 minutes + is what I’m referring to here. Watch how each characters’ power is thought out and used individually to some success and failure. Again, each power is tested or at least referred to in some capactiy. They eventually work as a team and use each one of their powers to take down their target, Juggernaut

3. The movie needs to sidestep the “Origin Problem”:

I don’t think I really have to explain this one, but I’ll try my best, as fast as possible. Origin stories are boring and redundant and “reboots’, as Hollywood loves to call them, always end up being fucking boring. Enough said. They need to get to the point and do it fast.

4. Magneto needs to be the great villain he always has been:

Ian Mckellen was a disastrous choice for Magneto. Disastrous. It was one of the most bizzare, poor, and nonsensical casting choices of all time in a super hero flick.

Magneto was recently named number 1 comic villain of all time by IGN. This is not a mistake. Magneto really is that great.

Fassbender is a very good choice for the young Magneto and, if they play his physicality right in the later films, will work great in future entries. All of this is pending on how well his ruthlessness comes off – his physicality and powers have to be intimidating.

5. The women need to be strong and sexy – not just vunerable:

A huge part of the comics and cartoons was how sexy the female characters were and none of the X-men movies have ever properly addressed this. The women should not be victims or in some way inferior. This is not because of some feminist agenda, but because that just isn’t how the X-men comics ever worked. Some of the most poweful mutants in the X-men comics were females. Just look at all the female mutants from the first three movies: They’re all garbage and ancillary. Granted, Jean Gray takes on tremendnous power, but nonetheless is a victim.

-Collin

By Collin, on May 19th, 2011

Top Ten Steven Spielberg movies

Love him or hate him he’s probably the most significant filmmaker of all time. A lot of people (especially at the film school I went) to disregard him as as farcical. That he’s a manipulative filmmaker who plays at the audience’s emotions too much. No film’s merits are more controversial than Shindler’s List, a movie I’m, as George Bush would say, a flip-flopper in regards to whether I love it or not.

As a summer of sequels and big-budget film nears, with promises of domination from “studio flicks”, I choose to celebrate the man that started it all. Most of all, I hope to emphasize the difference between Spielberg, why I disliked him for a while, and how he walks the line of cheesy sentimentalist and master of form.

While this list isn’t particularly unique, it is one that I’ve been pining over for some time. I’ve succumb to the realization that Spielberg might be one of the best filmmakers of all time. This list is just a bit of therapy.

10. Shindler’s List

I could one day write a book on the controversy surrounding the movie. I wondered whether to even include it on my list in order to avoid defending its (low) position. I must concede its greatness, however. It is the most important Holocaust movie ever made. One of my majors in college was History Studies, with an emphasis in European History in the Twentieth Century. Much of America’s view (and images) of the Holocaust comes from this little, wonderful movie about a good man who changed from being an egotist to an altruist – a beautiful and worthy story.

The world deserves to see this movie. My middle school teacher, Mr. Manske, made it required viewing. However, as Terry Gilliam (quoting Kubrick) stated, “Shindler’s List is about success, the Holocaust was about failure”. I’ve never discussed the movie with my Jewish friends (most of my friends are Jewish) because their perspective is narrow. They already had all the answers growing up. What is one’s impression who had never heard of the Holocaust or who had never even met a Jew before? I don’t know, but I’m sure it isn’t what it should be. The movie is an undeniable masterpiece, so emotionally devastating that to even hear its theme music can put lumps in my throat.

9. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

I recently caught this movie on T.V. and was reminded what great entertainment it is. The Indiana Jones flicks, now widely-known to be influenced by serials, are movies you flip to and just have to watch to the end. I’m not including the first on this list, (spoiler alert) but I won’t go into why . Too confusing.

What I will say is the genius of Spielberg, and his writers, is his combination of different “tension elements”. For the most classic example I would give the Indiana fight on the tank. He must deal with:

1. The Germans inside.

2. Falling off and being crushed by the rocks.

3. His father and friend being killed.

4. A truck filled with Nazis (blown-up by Connery)

5. Then the tank going off the cliff.

Watch all Spielberg set-pieces, many of them work like this – as do many of Lucas’.

8. Empire of the Sun

I have a huge soft spot for this little-discussed entry into Spielberg’s more dramatic works. Spielberg’s obsession with innocence in the face of reality is no more apparent than in this fantastic story written by JG Ballard, which was based on his experiences in similar camps as a boy.

Christian Bale, only a small boy, puts in a heroic performance and only its thematic uncertainties prevent this movie from more popularity. Movies about expatriates in wartime circumvent my defenses and penetrate deep into me – even if they’re not perfect. If you haven’t seen this flawed, but great, film, rent it or find it on Netflix. It is worth your time. Few movies are as shamelessly abusive of our sentimentality.

7. Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park is a great movie. F-you haters. Few movie going experiences stick with you as a kid; this one did. It was one of the first PG-13 movies I saw in the theater (I was six or seven) and had never been quite so wowed before. It wasn’t one of those, “I want to be a filmmaker moments”, but it definitely could have been.

All the complaints about the movie are valid. Crichton, after all, isn’t Shakespeare. However, the movie is for children and should always be considered that way. Or rather, was meant to make adults feel like children again.

6. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

I’ve never seen the original serials that inspired the series (nor will I ever watch them), but I imagine that the second addition is the most loyal to these. It is the most straightforward of the whole series and by far my favorite. What a great movie. Filled with adventure, nonsense, tension, action, and even a funny sex quarrel.

I don’t count the fourth film as part of the series. This is for a variety of reasons, but most of all it is because the damn movie just didn’t have the gigantic temple sets and an “organic look”. The second film is the ultimate who-the-fuck-cares adventure film. The first and third have undercurrents of a Bondish-type feel. The second is a simple temple story – I like that about it. Not to mention fucking Short Round is amazing.

5. Minority Report

The best Philip K. Dick adaption aside from Blade Runner, Minority Report, would a be a shining achievement for an average director, but is relegated to only fifth because of Spielberg’s greatness. Spielberg’s story is very different than Dick’s, but captures the essence of a Dick novel. It is more action-packed, but just as cerebral. It has a great premise matched with perfect execution – which is a rarity indeed. This movie came out of a nowhere mostly because no one could have imagined it would be so good.

Many scenes are so memorable that I don’t even have to rewatch the movie to write this blurb. The best scene of the movie, and one of my favorites of Spielberg’s, is where Cruise’s character fumbles around the fridge to find a sandwich and milk, but only finds the rotten contents. What use did this part have? Well, what we get to see is the bizarre and unique sense of humor that Spielberg never really shows, or at least explores to a great degree.

What makes the movie a masterpiece, as well as one of the best, most under-appreciated, sci-f films ever, is that it has real thematic importance. You can turn your noise up at this comment, saying, ”Well, imagine if someone like Kubrick had done it”. Yes, a different movie indeed, which leads me to another movie…

4. A.I. Artificial Intelligence

So what if Kubrick had done it? A.I. was a movie he’d been planning for years, waiting for a time when the special effects would catch up . What a dark and dreary movie it would have been. It remains so, but with Spielberg’s flair for the sentimental tucked away in the existentially demanding questions Kubrick poses.

Roger Ebert claimed the ending was too sentimental. I agree it is sentimental, but the movie has the rare effect of becoming more depressing because of the sentimentality. The movie’s ending – the robots have become an almost spiritual race - is one of my favorite of all time. It questions more than “what does it mean to be human” and moves across time and space with such audacity, wondering on existential questions without actually posing them. What does a robot loving someone unconditionally say about the human race? I don’t know. So few Spielberg films leave questions unanswered, it is a treat that we got a little taste of Kubrick even after he was dead.

Spielberg has quieted his critics who claimed he changed Kubrick’s vision by going into the future in the movie. He added that Kubrick’s treatment had the same storyline. The story needed to remove the whole human race from the equation and allow the audience to ponder the purpose of our existence. Does the whole thing work through the eyes of a non-human? I think so, but some do not.

3. Jaws

I’m not going to write much because nothing really needs to be said. The movie opened everywhere at once and invented the blockbuster. It also (more importantly) asserted that a B-movie could be art. After all, only a few years later Ridley Scott would make the B-movie art film Alien. Jaws was a defining moment for the director – proving that he could roll with the punches and survive one of the more difficult movie shoots.

It deserves many of the accolades it gets and is, if anything, a showing of how truly enjoyable Spielberg’s filmmaking technique is. He pulls out all the stops and because his characters are so funny and “real”, the movie is able to avoid being style-over-substance, which is was very close to being. Great music, characters, and editing saves him from that.

2. Close Ecounters of the Third Kind

Is it slow? Is it kind of bizarre. Is it really that good? Well, yes, yes, and yes. If you haven’t seen it (many my age have not) check it out because it is one of the truly great treasures from Spielberg. His alien obsessions have been farcical of late, but few other movies imagine the real splendor of creatures from another planet like this one does.

Its beginnings evoke the shitty alien flicks from the fifty and sixties and sort-of tricks the audience into thinking they’re going to see something they’re not. Instead, it attempts to evoke a spiritual sense of aliens, the universe, and our place in it. Maybe not that much, but that is what I thought.

The fact that Roy Neary (Richard Dreyfuss) gets on the spaceship and abandons his family, who had all the right in the world to leave him, is a huge error on Spielberg’s part. A huge part of my youth, heavily influenced by my brother’s obsession with X-files, was pondering about aliens and hoping they were nice little men like in this movie.

I could go on about how stupid the aliens actually look, but I’ll leave that up to you.

1. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

I can’t stand some kids movies these days. They are, with few exceptions from Pixar, shitty movies designed for two years olds. ET understands something fundamental about family entertainment: Scaring kids is good and totally acceptable.

I recently watched The Goonies, a movie that Sean Bean claimed was a c0-direction from Spielberg in Bean’s great book There and back again: An actors tale. The Goonies has dead bodies, skeletons, a monster with one eye, cursing, and serious possible death, but kids love it.

What makes E.T. so great is that it isn’t worried about making the movie too scary or “intense” for kids. It is a movie for adults, yes, but it is certainly aimed at children as well.

It is the best Spielberg movie of all time, one that I think even he claimed he’ll be remembered most for. I used to watch the movie over and over again when I was young, eventually wearing out the VHS tape it was on. Who can’t be charmed by the greatness of the bicycle scene or moved by the last moments of the movie?

- Collin

By Collin, on March 15th, 2011

Top Ten Movies to put on at a party

Most movies that are great to throw on during a party are what most people call “cult films”. I’m sure some are coming to mind. I don’t really agree with that comment thought because a lot of cult films you just wouldn’t put on during a party.

Things are just too loud, too many annoying dudes fist pumping, too many chicks complaining they can’t understand what is going on. Many of my favorite movies are movies I found so I could pop them on during a party and gross people out. The movies always have to be simple and easy to come in at any moment and watch. The following is a collection of such movies. Enjoy.

10. Billy Madison

I choose this movie for all the wrong reasons, but it really is a great crowd pleasure. Especially for people specifically from my age group. This movie is beloved. Almost anyone you run into will be able to recite the movie almost word-for-word and enter into any part of the movie and know what is going on.

9. Don’t Mess with the Zohan

I’ve consistently said this is the best Adam Sandler movie ever made. It is one of my favorite comedies made in the past ten years. Totally underestimated. It is wall-to-wall hilarious at the most ridiculous level. Sure, I’m confident that people really effected by the Palestine-Israeli conflict probably aren’t huge fans of the slap-stick take on the whole subject, but I don’t think anyone at a party will notice.

8. Ichi the Killer

I love this movie. Love it through and through. That might be clouding my judgement on its ability to play well at a party. Takashi Miike is a fucking genius. This movie will offend everyone and give deep pleasure to those who bother to watch it. This might be an experimental party movie, test with the right crowd.

7. Cannibal The Musical

So I was watching a Troma movie so many years ago and caught a glimpse of trailer for a bizarre musical about Alfred Packer. I never had cable, so I had no idea who the fuck Trey Parker and Matt Stone were until many years later when I started to get recorded episodes of South Park from friends.

This is such a good movie with some genuinely catchy tunes. An odd fact about me is I’m a mega-huge fan of musicals. So putting them together with my love of gore and surreal comedy just works. It is also a huge crowd pleasure because people know and love Trey and Matt now.

6. Citizen Toxie

The best of all the Toxic Avenger films merely because of its superior production values – ironic as that may be because they’re not fantastic. Moreover, Citizen Toxie features all the things great about Troma: violence, nudity, bad costumes, subversive speeches given by bad performers. Good stuff.

5. Terror Firmer

My favorite of all Troma flicks. I don’t know why it isn’t more widely loved, but hey, people are fickle, especially fanboys.

4. Redneck Zombies

I’m actually going to admit I love Troma movies for the party situation. There actually might be too many on this list – but fuck it. This movie is so fucking good. Seek it out, it deserve to be sought. With fantastic gore effects, the film will get the females at the party grossed out.

On a side note, it was one of the first movies shot on video to get wide distribution. It deserved it.

In hindsight, they might as well just raise another ten or so grand and just shot the shit on film. Then again, back then editing off-line on video decks or non-linear platforms was not popular. Flat beds, which are shit, were expensive.

3. Tokyo Gore Police

My brother called me up in hysterics over this movie. It is available right now on netflix streaming. Pop it on at a party or a poker game or beer-pong tourney and people will be shitting themselves. It contains some of the goriest scenes ever put in a film. It is really close to Dead Alive – and that is saying something.

2. The Evil Dead Series

Needs no explanation. I’ll only say if you’ve been putting off seeing it for whatever reason, go right now and watch it.

1. Cannibal Holocaust

So good to put on at a party. It will shock everyone. My brother put it on at a party once and people were so disturbed they were asking to have it turned off. It is fiction, but gory fiction at its best. It contains animal deaths, which I’m against. But, somehow now that is has already been done, there is something strangely experimental about the death of real animals.

There is a theory that correctly assumes if you cut to someones blank face, then cut to something happening – let’s say a car crash for example. In this case the audience will apply an emotion to that face that isn’t really there. Similarly, perhaps the use of real animals convinced audience members (it did) that the human deaths they saw were real as well. Holocaust is a masterpiece and the best movie to throw on at a party.

By Collin, on March 7th, 2011

Top Ten Uses of Special Effects for Great Storytelling

Okay, lets get real for moment – everyone knows the movies with the best special effects. We can argue all day about which was more important, why, where, when, how, etc. Most people would admit that Star Wars, Avatar, Titanic, and Lord of the Rings have the best special effects on an epic scale, but is bigger always better?

I’ve put together a list that I think is the films that use special effects for the purpose of great storytelling. That doesn’t mean this won’t include the bigger movies, but great visuals don’t always mean a great movie. The Fountain comes to mind…

10. Terminator 2

T2 is the best action movie ever made. It has set pieces that wow me every time I revisit the movie. The special effects are flashy, but are wrapped into such an incredible story that I can go back and watch over and over. I love Avatar, but can’t see the same type of longevity for it.

9. Minority Report

A minor master piece of sorts. It had very little hype for such a good movie and I actually didn’t even see it until it came to video -but holy shit is it fucking awesome. The scenes where Tom Cruise is escaping up the building while being pursued by the cops is my personal favorite.

8. Brazil

This is the first movie where special effects really come into play in a secondary role to the story. Brazil follows a bureaucrat as he deals with an oppressive society. The visuals are still phenomenal and prove that action doesn’t really have to be everything in a special effects film.

7. Forrest Gump

I loved Forrest Gump when I first saw it but have grown less fond of it over the years. Its world view is morally bizarre. Having the wild female get AIDS and the do-what-your-told Gump be a millionaire? This is weird to me. Nonetheless, its use of effects as a way to inject Gump into our history was masterful if not a bit corny at times.

6. Citizen Kane

Say what you want about the movie, it has some of the most innovative uses of special effects for the sake of storytelling. Roger Ebert mentioned on Kane’s commentary tracks that it likely had just as many special effects shots as Star Wars, just employed for different reasons.

5. Star Wars Series

Not much to say really. The clip I choose wasn’t really special effects heavy but one of my favorite scenes in a movie, ever. I use to rewind it over and over again when I was little. It was scenes like this that fucked up my life.

4. Blade Runner

I bet a lot of people are going to flame the shit out of me, telling me that this is actually a style-over-substance example. But, I really think the story is the focal point. That is obviously not totally true, the story has a lot of problems but is fucking awesome.

3. 2001 Space Odyssey

I’ve grown more and more to think this might be the best movie ever produced. Few other movies have produced special effects to describe the awe-spiring universe.

2. Lord of the Rings

I was going to put another one of Peter Jackson’s films on here, Dead Alive, as kind of a joke – but came to my senses. LOTR is one of the rare cases where epic special effects meet a epically well told story.

1. Pan’s Labyrinth

A heart breaking movie that happens to have some of the best monster effects ever made. The visual difficulty of making the movie could have easily overshadowed the emotional impact of the story, but Del Toro proved with this movie that he is far more than just an visual effects filmmaker.

By Collin, on January 31st, 2011

Underground Film Review Episode 6

I’ve been posting all our olds shows. Kinda’ like the Underground Film Review The Lost shows. This was the first one we ever did. It also got deleted back around a year ago when our site got hacked and I had to rebuild it. Have a listen and enjoy. If you like it, download it on ITUNES!