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By Collin, on November 26th, 2010

REALLY→

BAD

Nope. Wrong move. Big mistake. Stupid. Jack-off, Boston criminal.

All these words and more come to mind when hearing that Mark Walhberg has decided to ruin a beloved franchise…again. Not to nerd rage, but this ain’t gonna’ work. Wahlberg is the wrong choice for this movie. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. They’ve done it. They’ve ruined the movie before it even came out. Is that possible? Yep. How? Well, because of two really big reasons:

1. It will not be a fun adventure film. David O’Russell is planning a bondesque, Die Hard shoot ‘em up. How do I know that? I just do. The game was so fun because it was based in a universe of fun, adventure, and treasure hunting. It might sound childish, but that is because IT FUCKIN’ IS! It has been compared endlessly to to Indiana Jones for a reason.

Speilberg was adapting a genre from his childhood and created a fun adventure for kids and adults alike. That is exactly what needs to be done here.

2. Wahlberg can’t be Nathan Drake. Just like Matthew McConaughey can’t be Dirk Pitt and Ian McKellen can’t be Magneto. Wahlberg had his shot at a sacred franchise and should have used his influence to make Max Payne a good film.

Really →

Lame

Walhberg, to a certain degree, is Max Payne, a hard-boiled, tortured soul, bent on revenge and proving himself. What he isn’t is a fast-talking, flirtatious, ball-busting adventurer. I’d heard this news walking into 127 hours and I’d lie if I said it wasn’t still bothering me. When I saw Franco’s interpretation of Aron Alston I couldn’t help but think, “Now THAT is Nathan Drake.” A fun-loving adventurer who laughs in the face of danger, literally celebrating when he is able to break both the bones in his arm.

The point is, this movie will be entertaining. How could it not be? I remember my parents couldn’t get over the fact that the filmmakers fucked with Spock in the newest Star Trek film and made him vicious. They despised the film, but were entertained by it.

To hardcore fans of the Uncharted games this movie is going to suck balls. (In a bad way, not a beautiful lady sucking your balls) We won’t be able to get over the fact that Wahlberg ain’t Drake. Drake is Drake and actors can only do worthy interpretations. Because after all, in my mind, Drake is as real as Luke Skywalker, Barbra Walters, or The Situation.

Really →

Big Boners

- Collin

By Collin, on October 14th, 2010

David O Russell, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, and holy shit who is going to play Nathan Drake???

For once, I feel like I’m a little bit of an authority on this one. The Uncharted series is one of the best ever made and they’re only on game two. Deadline reports this:

David O Russell has signed on with Sony Pictures Entertainment to rewrite and direct a movie based on the PlayStation 3 game Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. Russell, who last directed Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale in The Fighter, takes on a vidgame that follows treasure hunter Nathan Drake.

Say whaaaat? For those who don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about: Uncharted is a video game series that follows Nathan Drake as he finds treasure and does all kinds of other Indiana Jones type stuff. The series has been compared to Tomb Raider, but I think that is just dead wrong. I think a more viable comparison is Prince of Persia mixed with Gears of War. Am I right?

Regardless, notorious douchebag David O. Russell just signed onto one of the greatest video game franchises of the modern era. ‘Uncharted 2′ was crowned best PS3 video game EVER by IGN.com as well as being crowned with the more important title: MY favorite video game.

I’m torn on whether or not I want this video game ever to reach the screen. Not because I don’t think it will be awesome – it will be – but because the film would be so easy to screw up. Rumors that Mark Wahlberg is a front-runner for the job literally makes me sick to me my stomach. Think of the fascinating mythology behind Max Payne…ruined. All ruined.

Finally, I got a little less depressed when I saw that all-around cool guy Nathan Fillion wants the part. Boya. Fillion is perfect – he’s ruggedly handsome, funny, sarcastic, manly, athletic, etc etc. His character for Firefly might even have been borrowed for Drake, who knows? But maybe an unknown would be the best option? Maybe they shouldn’t risk it? Fillion said this on his twitter, “Everyone needs to campaign for @NathanFillion for Nathan Drake.”

Done and done.

-Collin