Legion (2010)

I wonder why so many biblical horror movies turn out so boring?  Movies like The Omen (the remake, though I won’t even go near the old one because I know that’ll be boring), Stigmata, and definitely The Reaping.  It seems like the Bible, with all its huge fantastical happenings and the struggle between right and wrong, would make excellent horror movie fodder.  Of course, some times it does, like with The Exorcist.  And religious themes make it into horror all the time (for example, crosses killing vampires), but I’m talking about movies directly centered on religious mythology.

I bring this up because the movie Legion, by first time director Scott Stewart, had lots of possibilities but falls short.  The plot centers on the fallen Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) trying to protect a pregnant woman Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) in a grungy diner located in the middle of the New Mexico desert.  He is protecting her because God’s lost faith in humanity and has basically decided to destroy the human race.  Of course, Charlie’s baby will bring salvation to mankind even though I never really found out why.  The diner is filled with normal horror movie characters.  For instance a black gangster (Tyrese Gibson) who we learn has, surprise, never actually shot someone, a rich white family, and a father (Dennis Quaid) who has issues with his son (Lucas Black.)  The stereotypical characters didn’t bother me though, the lack of creativity did.

With the exception of a crazy old lady that climbs on the ceiling and a creepy looking ice cream man (both ruined by commercials), God’s plan to annihilate humans is by sending zombies after them.  Freakin’ zombies.  I like zombie movies, and am looking forward to Resident Evil 4, but they are getting a little old.  Especially in a movie like this, which shouldn’t even have zombies to begin with.  So I would say the majority of this movie is a barely mediocre, tame zombie flick.  True, Michael’s enemy the Archangel Gabriel (Kevin Durand) shows up ready to kill, but it results in some okay fight scenes leading to the end of the film.  The plot is really too silly, implausible, and stale to overcome mediocre scares and fight scenes.

The cast is good for a horror movie of this caliber, which it should be considering most of the cast has plenty of experience.  The story could have used a lot of work, especially in the creativity department.  There really aren’t any scary parts and the action scenes are just okay.  If you go into this movie with very low expectations, you might enjoy it as a better than average TV movie.  Legion is far from the worst the horror genre has to offer, but it offers little reason to watch it.

Devon says:  C-