Lily Allen considered taking heroin at her lowest point of addiction struggles
Lily Allen considered taking heroin at her lowest point of addiction struggles (Image: Instagram)
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Lily Allen considered taking heroin at the lowest point of her struggle with addictions, and admits: “I knew when that thought popped into my head it was time to confront my demons.”
The singer, 35, sober for 18 months, describes two points in her life where she sought help for alcoholism.
Speaking candidly about her recovery process, she admits she felt “guilty” for “neglecting my kids” at the peak of her addiction.
Lily sank into alcoholism while touring with Miley Cyrus in 2014 on a tour she describes as “highly sexualised”, where she was “supporting this girl that was much younger and more attractive than I felt” after having her two children, Ethel, nine, and Marnie, eight.
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Six months after Marnie was born in 2013, Lily says she “ran out of money”, so returned to the stage.
She says she “did not feel like a popstar” at the time, so started taking Adderall to lose weight.
“I got addicted to this drug,” she says, speaking to DJ Fat Tony’s The Recovery podcast.
The following year, during Miley’s tour, she says she “acted up” including cheating on her then husband, Sam Cooper.
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In her darkest moments she admits she was “getting up in the morning, going straight to the minibar and downing mini vodka bottles, or whisky or whatever was left”.
It was then she considered taking heroin.
But having seen the devastating effect of the drug on people she knew in the party scene, she recognised it was time to confront her “demons”.
After attending recovery, “the rooms”, she got clean, but started drinking again six months later.
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“Almost instantly I lost everything,” she says. “I lost my marriage, I lost my house I’d worked for 10 years to buy, my career started sinking, I lost all my friends.
“I was so resentful, so angry all the time, really felt like the world owed me stuff and I’d got the raw end of the deal. That went on for another four years, and I ended up back in the rooms again.”
She and Sam – father to her two children – divorced in 2018.
Lily Allen with her two daughters and now-husband David Harbour (left)
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Now sober since July 2019, she says: “I’ve come to a place of accepting I can’t really get involved in all that stuff anymore.”
“I felt so guilty for neglecting my kids in those early years of their life, and having to go off on tour and misbehaving the way I was,” she continues. “I really have a great relationship with kids now.”
She says her daughters can speak to her with their problems, which is “golden” for her.
“They’re confident little girls – touch wood they’re not going to turn into drug addicts like I did.”
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Lily married Stranger Things sober actor David Harbour last year, and says the pair have a “happy and healthy” relationship.
“I don’t have as much as I had then in terms of success and wealth, but I have success and health in my head which is more valuable, I think.”
For help call Alcoholics Anonymous on freephone 0800 9177 650 or contact [email protected]