Not many sleeps until Boris tells us what we’re actually getting this Christmas

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How many sleeps is it now then? Has the fat bloke with white hair decided if we’ve been good enough?

When, oh when, is Boris actually going to tell us what we’re getting for Christmas?

Waiting for the PM to issue his Yule Rules has given me tinsellitis.

I’m normally a total Grinch, sickened by people who put their trees up in November.

The John Lewis ad usually makes me heave and Christmas radio sets my nerves jingle-jangling.

But this year the schmaltzy commercials brought a lump to my throat and I fought back tears when I heard Chris Rea starting his interminable journey round the M25.

Because after all the misery and gloom of the pandemic, I’m craving glitter and sparkle – the warm glow of a Christmas with all the family and a New Year knees-up with friends.

We all are. We NEED it more than ever this year.

Christmas usually makes me the Grinch – but this year I have tinsellitis

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But at the moment we’re stuck in Chrimbo limbo. We don’t know how many relatives will be able to gather or if the 12 days of Christmas will be slashed to five.

What size turkey should we order, how many bottles of fizz will the bubble need and how many chairs should we borrow from next door… if that’s still allowed?

So all we can do is deck the halls, buy the prezzies and pray that Boris will soon wrap up his plans.

While trying to ignore the scientists’ grim predictions that a normal Christmas will prove deadly and require months more lockdown as payback.

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“There is no point having a very merry Christmas and then burying friends and relations in January and February,” public health expert Gabriel Scally tells us.

And the Royal College of Emergency Medicine’s Katherine Henderson warns: “We will regret a Christmas season that gives granny Covid for Christmas.”

So whatever Boris pulls out of the bag and presents to the nation next month, this will NOT be a normal yuletide.

We can make the most of the glitter and sparkle and the warm hugs of our nearest and dearest.

But we simply cannot risk huge, multi-generational gatherings – and that means making painful choices about who we get to see.

Until this virus is defeated we have to ­accept a pared-down festive season – a sort of Christmas lite.

While dreaming that next year’s is back to normal, just like the ones we used to know.

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