Amanda Bynes has revealed she felt like an ‘alien has invaded my body’ during her dark battle with drug abuse.
The former child star suffered a public meltdown in 2013 as a result of drug-induced psychosis, and announced her retirement before undergoing a raft of surgery and infamously asking Drake to ‘murder my vagina’ on Twitter.
Opening up about her battles for the first time, the now-clean 32 year old said her use of cannabis, ecstasy and MDMA sparked her bizarre behaviour.
"When I was off of them [drugs], I was completely back to normal and immediately realised what I had done – it was like an alien had literally invaded my body," she told Paper magazine.
"That is such a strange feeling. Truly, for me, (my behaviour) was drug-induced, and whenever I got off of (drugs), I was always back to normal."
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The former child star – who rose to fame in the 1990s before appearing in films such as What A Girl Wants, She’s The Man and Hairspray – was one of Hollywood’s hottest talents when drug use led to a downward spiral.
She had several brushes with the law after stepping away from acting in 2010, including a drink-driving arrest in 2012 and a marijuana possession charge in 2013.
Now gearing up to make a comeback, she told how her first experience of drugs came after experimenting with marijuana, before she moved on to "molly and ecstasy".
The actress said she tried, "cocaine three times but I never got high from cocaine. I never liked it. It was never my drug of choice".
She added: "I definitely abused Adderall."
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Amanda was a child star
She was reportedly arrested on suspicion of DUI in Los Angeles
Her use of Adderall, usually used to treat ADHD, led her to dropping out of the film Hall Pass after being left "scatterbrained" from the drugs.
But she said the breaking point came after watching herself appear in 2010’s Easy A alongside Emma Stone.
She said: "I literally couldn’t stand my appearance in that movie and I didn’t like my performance. I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it.
"I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me. I don’t know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things."
After seeing herself in Easy A, she decided to retire from acting, announcing the news via Twitter.
Amanda Bynes is seen in a police booking photo April 2012 in West Hollywood, California
She hid her face behind her dog after undergoing surgery
(Image: Rex Features)
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She started "hanging out with a seedier crowd and I isolated a lot", adding "I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me".
Now she’s sober and says her drug using days are over.
She has a degree in Merchandise Product Development from the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles – and she wants to make a return to acting.
She said: "Those days of experimenting (with substances) are long over. I’m not sad about it and I don’t miss it because I really feel ashamed of how those substances made me act.
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