Coke addict Mel B attempted suicide days before X Factor 2014 finale – Mirror Online
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CelebsCoke addict Mel B attempted suicide days before X Factor 2014 finale
The troubled Spice Girl has detailed her addiction to cocaine and what happened on the night of her suicide attempt
- 10:00, 18 NOV 2018
- Updated10:04, 18 NOV 2018
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Mel B has revealed she had a suicide attempt just days before The X Factor’s 2014 final – and that she was addicted to cocaine at the time.
In her new autobiography, Brutally Honest, she documents her addiction to cocaine, which she said was fuelled by depression due to being in an abusive relationship with her then husband, Stephen Belafonte.
She said she would begin each morning by waking up and taking a line of coke, which would fuel her into going in to her day job at Simon Cowell’s reality show in 2014.
“I was a sad, pathetic person. I was out of control," she wrote.
- Mel B claims she had just £800 in the bank when she left Stephen Belafonte
“I was so low that two weeks into filming The X Factor I’d started using cocaine to get me through the run of the show. It numbed my pain. It lifted me up enough to be ready to fire on all cylinders and forget about everything but the show.”
“I would pray, ‘God, I’m sorry for taking cocaine, but please God help me get through this day’.
The drug – which she took six lines of each day – was of easy access to Mel, she added: "It took less than a minute to get my hands on a regular supply."
- Mel B admits to snorting cocaine on X Factor as she battled ‘claustrophobic’ marriage
She added – in the serialisation of her book in today’s The Sun – that her former husband Stephen Belafonte seized control of her life, was verbally abusive, threatened to release their sex tapes if she left and even falsely accused her of sleeping with Simon Cowell.
Her raging coke habit, she said, was “to get me through living with Stephen, which felt like neurotic claustrophobia.
“On so many levels I felt myself sinking. I had a routine. I was ashamed of what I was doing, but I felt I had to have it.
‘It was like Cinderella… back to s**t and rats. And cocaine could help that mess. Just for now. It numbed my pain.”
- Mel B claims car tyres were "deliberately slashed" but fans say it looks like a "blowout"
Her shattered mental state even led her to a suicide attempt, as she took 200 aspirin pills in a her rented house in Knightsbridge, just two days before the final of the show.
She then realised that she wanted to live, so threw her body at the doorframe of a jammed door to try and escape and get to hospital – which is why she claims she was covered in bruises when she finally made it to the final of the ITV show.
"Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged from my family. I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and my manager Stephen.
(Image: Getty Images)
"A man who after ten years of marriage now had a library of sex tapes that could — as we both well knew — ruin my career and destroy my family."
One of the first people she called when she arrived in intensive care in hospital was Simon Cowell: "I remember he didn’t sound horrified, just calm, like he knew it’s what I needed from him."
She shocked the doctors when she told them she wanted to return to the show for the Sunday night finale: "The doctor said: ‘That is not happening, Melanie. I don’t think you realise how serious your condition is . There is serious damage to your liver and kidneys."
But she turned up on the night as a message to Stephen: "I needed all those bruises to be seen. My message to the world and to my husband was going to be very clear. I wamted people out there watching to be my witnesses.
Melanie Brown returns to the show after falling ill the night before, she is seen without her wedding ring on
Mel B during the X-Factor final
Mel B X Factor final
(Image: Mel B/Instagram)
"There’s not going back. I’m going to leave him, get a divorce. I’m going to be free."
Mel and Stephen divorced in 2017 and the court heard that Mel’s money from being in the Spice Girls – approximately £38.3 million – had been wiped out due to the couple’s "extravagant and affluent lifestyle".
Mel revealed in her book that she still has never seen her fee for appearing in the X Factor – a reported £1 million – as after she was paid by Syco, someone removed all the money from her account while she was in hospital.
She also said that she has been seeking treatment for PTSD following her divorce.
Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected]
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