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Top Nine Reasons Why the Transformers Movies are Bad.

This is a list I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Every time a trailer came out for one of these movies I was fooled into think it is going to be good. The trailer for the 3rd film (the #2 trailer) might be the best trailer ever made. This article is a little bit of a troll by the way.

So let’s do this list! In the words of Human Torch: Flame on!


9. The ancillary characters are not needed.

What are ancillary characters you ask? Well, they’re characters that are added that don’t impact the main story. Transformers movies are loaded with them. Consider for a second Captain William Lennox (Josh Duhamel), what purpose does he serve in the overall story? Protecting Sam? Not really. He is there just to have a handsome white guy in the movie. However, he does deliver one of the greatest lines in movie history:

“Listen to me, youre a soldier now!”

Or, think about the role of Anthony Anderson, a brilliant comedic actor, who is given a weird hacker role that serves no purpose other than to let him scream at his mom. It is borderline offensive.

I’m not saying that Michael Bay shouldn’t have such characters in his movies — just give the characters something to do. When their weapons serve no purpose and don’t harm the Decepticons, then what possible point do they serve in fighting? I know there are arguements to be made that they would “fight because they’re soldiers”.  Stupid and I don’t buy it.

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13 comments to Top Nine Reasons the Transformers Movies are bad.

  • John

    I have seen great acting performances, I have seen great plots and story lines and I have seen action packed blockbuster movies whose sole purpose is to make a ton of money. Every movie in this trilogy is a blockbuster meant to make 5-10x it’s movie budget. The guy who wrote the screenplay has to appeal to a mass audience not just one specific genre of movie-goers. That’s why some would watch this movie and say wow that was entertaining and the rest of us who expect more out of Hollywood question the acting, the one liners, the convenient plot twists, the good guy wins and gets the hot girl simplicity, and all of it being encapsulated with stunning visual effects. This movie was not intended to have good acting, characters that you could sympathize with, strong writing, etc. it’s a high budget Hollywood movie that was meant to draw the masses out, young and old, fan of transformers or not and just have people say I spent three hours outside of my house and it cost me $5/hr. Serious movie critics are going to destroy these types of movies but this was the movies destiny. It’s not meant to be an independent film with political or social undertones, satirical characters, and creative writing. It’s meant to make everything arrive at one point. Good beats evil and even when evil throws a ton of curveballs in the way, good always wins. Add any hot girl and that’s how you get a directing job for movies like this.

  • Andy

    My biggest problem with the Transformers are these are huge robots who have been fighting a war for eons and yet they have almost no armour on them, even the Decepticons have their most vital parts largely exposed.

  • ThebiggestTFfanever

    To prove your review wrong……..
    9. They’re called extras
    8. Would you watch the movies without megan fox?
    7. The movies make money BECAUSE they are good
    6. Revenge of the Fallen is my favorite of the movies no matter what micheal bay thinks
    5. You dont have a sense of humor if you dont laugh at his jokes
    4. The movies have one awards for the effects you say they didnt show
    3. the one liners make it more dramatic
    2. the movies would be longer if the lines were more than one or two words
    1. The transformers are a huge part of the movie
    ……and yes i read your review just to make this comment

    • Lol. The only moments in those movies I enjoy are when I can beat off to Megan Fox. So maybe you have a point about #8…

    • Simply

      Counter arguments. Since it looked like you never even thought your arguments through, I won’t insult myself by doing so either.

      9. Semantics. You can call them “extras” you can call them “bacon” it doesn’t change that their sole is pointless.
      8. Yes, I would. There are thousands of movies (maybe millions) without Megan Fox, and we watch them all the time.
      7. No, they make money because of the hype. The bible is the top selling book in the U.S. – doesn’t mean it’s good. Unless you can demonstrate a link between revenue and quality of item, you have nothing.
      6. The author should apologize. He worded this argument in such a way that it made you believe he was talking about you. <– Sarcasm. He wasn't talking about you. Your opinion is irrelevant.
      5. Invalid argument. People have their own sense of humor. People had a sense of humor before these movies existed, and will after the fact.
      4. Eh.
      3. "The one liners make it more dramatic…according to me" is a better way to phrase it. You seem to think that your opinions are universal facts. Most people learn the contrary at age 4-5.
      2. And they would be shorter without the one liners. Damn, would it have killed you to spend 2 more seconds thinking about this one? It probably would have.
      1. Ah, it must be nice to be able to decide what is fact just by saying it.

      I've concluded that you're either some prepubescent boy, or a really uneducated adult.

      • Good points. :) Trolling a counter troll’s troll?

      • One thing I never mentioned and I SHOULD: Transformers’ sound design has no peers.

        That includes Dark Knight, The Avengers, and most comic book movies. I’ve heard from and spoken to a lot of sound guys who have no idea how some of that stuff was done. It should have one the Oscar for sound.

        Like I said, most of the time I’m viciously beating off to Megan Fox and don’t notice the sound. So who knows?

  • lol

    Number 1 reason why this review is bad.

    It goes into a Michael Bay film expecting things such as plot, character development, and meaningful dialogue.

    • lol. That is the last thing I would ever do. The Transformers movies are weird, but Bay’s others movies are pretty fun. The Rock and Bad Boys are both pretty darn good.

  • jonathan

    Ok really those are what you see wrong with the movie’s first off your first two are the same thing the people don’t need to be in there Megan doesn’t need to be in there and then you say it again when you say its not about transformers its about people so you actually only have a top 6. Then you have like three problem that have to do with fans and money or what not not the movie itself. The only real problem, you got right is that rarely do you care what happens i must admit when ironhide dies i was like damn that sucks.I really don’t understand how you never bring up the fact that the movies don’t follow each other. First film they fight over the cube autobots want to use it to rebuild decepticons destroy autobots. Second film says they where here already building something to get energon but after they build it some don’t want to use it cause it would destroy our planet but we helped build it why didn’t the fight happen before we built it.Enter the fallen the first decepticon only problem with that is they were already at war or would not need energon. Then the third film says the decepticons were on there way here to make a slave race to rebuild for them ok then why didn’t they just try and use the cube in the first place.There are many other ways they don’t follow each other but these are the main ones dealing with the plot

  • Interesting! Made me want to see Transformers 3 (and try not to wince at the hamfisted editing;–)

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